Unconscious Minds –&– Relationships
"The crusty voice of the general. A shake in the knees of Nüzhet. Nurfeşan’s eyes and the creaking of the door of the mirror wardrobe. And the voice, those eyes, the door tells me so many things through the language of secret things!
Sometimes, there happens to be so many mysterious events that we feel to the smallest detail; however we cannot realize. A second soul inside our soul understands everything, but does not tell us and throws and suffocates us in the darkness of the unknown with such terrible signs." *
When two people come side by side, a silent communication is initiated before words come out. The impression when someone meets a stranger is created in seconds.
Human body and soul are like two sides of a medallion. Humans need the body as well as the soul to sustain its presence as a whole. The body tries to maintain its balance against every kind of internal and external stimuli through physical changes.
On the other hand, human soul requires avoiding emotional threads and troubles to be able to maintain its presence as a whole. Hence, humans use unconscious defenses.
Unconscious means not deliberate, unintentional. Unconscious mind enables humans to overcome adverse situations, create a defense mechanism that reduces the spiritual tension and puts the disturbing reality in disguise to keep it away from the conscious. However, although the stress is temporarily relieved; the energy was transformed into something else and awaits to be ejected on the surface like a geyser. This outbreak can be in forms of crying with no apparent reason, getting furious because of a tiny cause and attacking someone, obsessive behaviors, sudden shopping wishes, clumsy actions, etc.
Even though it appears to be rational, the decisions taken are always based on the emotions and the unconscious world. When choosing a partner or a lover, people find the person who complements their missing parts (in line with their personality). Anyone who complains that the same type of person finds them and thinks it is ill fate is wrong.
Neither motherhood nor fatherhood is an inborn characteristic. The relationships between the parents and the children are not independent from their past experiences with their parents. This kind of relationship can also be observed among perpetrators and victims. Child abuse stands out in both the children who are subject to bullying and the bullies themselves. In other words, it is not a coincidence for some people to be victims.
One of the reasons why the spouses who are physically and mentally abused in their relationships do not really want to leave their partners is that they are nourished from the violence (through identification of their assailants).
In professional life, the people who also keep doing similar mistakes over and over again may also consider this as bad luck. They think they are not understood, ill-assessed, and are not preferred no matter what.
Is it possible for people to understand their unconscious worlds? This can be achieved by dreams and interpreting them, examining the slip of the tongue and clumsy actions to become conscious. However, this cannot be achieved without getting a professional help. Psychoanalysis is a method that unveils the unconscious world and makes it understandable.